The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's
youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as
he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have
a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still
had no answer, he would be killed.

The question was: "What do women really want?"

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable
man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query.
Since it was better than death, however, he accepted the
monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He
returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the
princesses, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the
court jester.

In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a
satisfactory answer.

What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch,
as only she would know the answer. The price would be high,
since the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the
exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no
alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer
his question, but he'd have to accept her price first: the
old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the
Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully
hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage water, often
made obscene noises. He had never run across such a repugnant
creature.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to
endure such a burden.

Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He
told him that nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to
Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence,
their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's
question:

What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of
her own life.

Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great
truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it went.
The neighboring monarch spared Arthur's life and granted him
total freedom.

What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn
between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always,
gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on
display. She ate with her hands, belched and passed gas, and
made everyone uncomfortable.

The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a
horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited!
The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him!
Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her
(when she'd been so hideous), half the time she would be her
horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she would be her
beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her to be during
the day and which during the night?

What a cruel question! Gawain began to think of his
predicament: during the day a beautiful woman to show off to
his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an
old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous
witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate
moments?

(What would *you* do?)

Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for
herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be
beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had
let her be in charge of her own life.

What is the moral of this story?

The moral is that it doesn't matter if your woman is pretty
or ugly, smart or dumb. Underneath it all, she's still a
witch.